1 May 2007

Falling in love - do it ASAP.

My life just took a sharp turn. The past 8 years or more, my average wake-up time was 8:00 AM. Now it is moving to 6:00 AM. Life is becoming slightly systematic. And the best(worst?) part is that I find it good. I have started to prioritize things. There is a proper plan for doing things.

Yes, these all are very good signs.

Now coming to the bad part of it. I am not completely successful in making the plan and executing it. There are quite a number of unexpected things coming up - to be done and vital. I had not given enough time for those things. :(

Anyway, I am slowly learning. It is never late to correct yourself, never too late to improve yourself. Just go ahead and do it. If you keep on planning all the time, nothing works. Just jump in and do. I am doing it and surprisingly, it works for me.

Anyway, all these developments are new in my life. I shall give the updates later.

What I would really want to discuss is "love".

Before going to the topic, why don't you have a look at this cool abstract picture - it was taken by me, two years back.

Okay, to love. I've had crush on umpteen girls in my life. During my BTech, I was actually graduating in flirting rather than in CS. Except once, I never made a real attempt to get a girl friend. I would say it was so stupid of her to turn me down. Sigh!

When I turn back, I really feel that I missed a lot. I should not have missed that golden opportunity. While you are in bachelors, you can do almost anything - without screwing up your life.

Fall in love with someone "lovely/cute/handsome", then within 6 months you fight with that person who turned to a beast in 6 months. Then go get another person who is "lovely/cute/handsome" at the moment. Also keep in mind that you might get dumped anytime! That would have been a wonderful time!. If only I had a time machine!!

The experience you get through this love-break-up cycle should help you in future. It will help you to be sane when it comes to a situation where your "ideal-partner" turns you down. [may be you are the only one thinks it is "ideal"]

Hey, no no ... it was not me who went insane. It was someone else. It would be too bad of me to point at someone.

I would tell all those bachelor students to go ahead and find a girl/boy friend. The only thing you want to make sure is that your studies are going just fine. Everything else is fine. Once again: "Make sure that you do not screw up your marks".

Also, never feel committed. You should be free to walk away from it anytime; you can find your partner later in life. This is the time you learn how to do it better.

Do not hesitate to confess your feelings for someone. Just do it. You are not losing anything. And if you get rejected, just be relieved that then you can approach the next person in the list ;).

Fine, all said. I should point out some of the major drawbacks too. If you do not know how to manage things well, you will slowly lose your friends because of this "special" relationship. Later when that "special" person dumps you, you would have NO friends to offer tissues to wipe your tears.

Another thing is, most of the humans are slaves of emotions and hence there is a good chance of getting trapped in the relationship. You might want to get out of it and would not have enough strength to do it. Beware of these two important hidden problems.

Signing off, Sands.

PS1: If someone goes ahead and gets trapped, I will not take responsibility for that.
PS2: If some one is scared by the warnings [the bold large lines], again I will not take the responsibility of your cowardliness. Your decision is only yours.
PS2: ASAP means As Soon As Possible


hiran said...

`k' `o' `l' `l' `a' `a' `m' = `kollaam'. nallu advice. the best part being the `6 months time gap' and `humans are slaves of emotions'. In my way of interpretation `love' itself being an emotion, one should not become a slave to `love' (or `your love'). Ambiguous is the mention of `would have NO friends to offer tissues', when you don't become a slave of the emotion (`love') and still want friends to wipe your tears.

Sandeep Sadanandan said...

1. Most of them happening in college are infatuations. In 6 months time they'll realize it. Then you should show the courage to say "enough is enough".

2. I am also asking not to become a slave.

3. Even though you are not a slave, after breaking up there would be a couple of emotionally-insecure days following the break up. Then, only friends can help you.

4. And for those who are slaves, friends are the only hope - the only source of help.


Kiran said...

Do not hesitate to confess your feelings for someone. Just do it. You are not losing anything. And if you get rejected, just be relieved that then you can approach the next person in the list ;).

"Thanks for the advice ... ;) "

Anonymous said...

i differ...
last few days i learnt a lot and i have a different perspective

-- njan

Sandeep Sadanandan said...


Yes, that is exactly what I mean.

Dont you wish?... that you had learned these things earlier? That would have helped you a lot.

The lesson you learned was from an old course. Anyway it's never too late to learn.


Dinil said...


I have a lot to comment on this, but not now :) (as both of us are too busy to have a long discussion).

But still, I can't restrain from saying this - you are confusing an already illusioned youth, living in dream world. Good that you have those warnings highlighted !

Rebeka said...

Your advice is so, so wrong. You're screwing up an experience which should be felt with purity and intention, not barriers and committment phobia. If you follow relationships in this pattern, you've missed the entire purpose of it...and for that matter, the entire experience of it. Feeling un-committed and being able to walk away at any moment shows that you are not experiencing the essence of what being in a relationship is about.

Your lack of experience is very obvious.

Anonymous said...


Yes, I lack experience :(
I wish I could go back and experience!

But I do disagree with you... :)


Ajith said...

I would disagree with this anti-commitment advice..But then ,as you said , one should be prepared to take setbacks in his stride.. And "Later when that "special" person dumps you, you would have NO friends to offer tissues to wipe your tears." -- This is very much true... But then, I would say, a Romantic relationship in college is a very good learning experience :)

Sandeep Sadanandan said...


It could always happen that you might lose interest in the relationship at any point of time.

If you are committed before that, you would have a very tight tug of war inside your mind in which definitely you will break up in the end.

If you dont break up, you are screwing your life by moving with a person whom you really are not sure...

so, committing makes it harder for you.

And from other persons perspective, a committment is a guarantee - and this could-happen-in-future-break-up would simply kill that person.

Why to commit unless you are really sure.

And I am sure that you cannot be really sure before you are 23-25+


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