25 April 2007

Born to Burn

There is fire inside me. Yes, it is burning - the fire which gives energy to me, the motive power - the source of energy, the energy which is flowing through me, to my dear people when they need it - The Internal Combustion Engine.

The past one week, not even a single day I have slept more than 5:30 hours. I have just begun a new phase of my life. Saturday and Sunday, I didn't touch books. It was a break - the Quiet before the Storm. The storm is on it's way.

I am not ready to compromise. I want to study well and have a wonderful extra-curricular life too. It's a pity that a day is only 24 hours long. Starting at 6:00 in the morning, by 10:00 at night, I am pretty tired. Still I go till 12:30. This will be only for a couple of days more. Then I'll get used to it.

Yesterday went for the movie "300". I guess the hype was a little more than it deserved. But I should tell, the dialogues are really well measured and very precise, concise and crisp. With the bare minimum dialogues the movie stands different. It's actually very well done. And, this movie was the only movie in the past two months.

This semester, other than my regular work, I have to help some friends. This is going to be tough. They need help with - Automata Theory, CFG, Complexity - sounds very easy to learn - not so easy to teach. I have forgotten them too, means I should start from scratch.

They want - Number Theory, Optimization. Number theory is something which I've been wanting to learn well for quite some time. I am happy I will have to learn optimization too. The book by Paul Halmos had already inspired me to learn his favorite area of math.

Finally, there was an incident which flattered me so much. Some one told me that I am a "coolnerd". What is this cool nerd? - "coolnerds are brainy folks who manage to somehow study as much as they have fun" - this is what he says.

It's only I who know what the truth is. But when I feel that the perception other have is what I want to perceive myself... It at least makes me happy and also motivates.

Signing off, Sands.

PS: A funny thing. I read the following in an article for PhD students.
Many graduate students suffer from insecurity, anxiety, and even boredom. First of all, realize that these are normal feelings.
Since when onwards, these are normal feelings? But I do agree with him completely.
_

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

really happy Sandeep, to see your posts frequently.

Indira.

Black is beautiful said...

"cool LITTLE boy " :D would have been better...
btw u r not a nerd

Anonymous said...

i know, i am not..
that's why i am flattered with that..!!

sands

Arun said...

you shouldnt take the coolnerd comment to seriously dude...some ppl can lie u know ;-p

amp said...

Hmmm...
So the IC engine is firin up huh!glad to hear abt it;)and yea..i wud agree that you are not a nerd..cool yea..but not a nerd:D

Sandeep Sadanandan said...

hey :)
nice to see you back.

sands.