18 May 2009

I wish her ALL THE BEST

I had been recently talking about the inability of languages to express our innermost feelings. Haven’t you felt it? Emotions are sometimes so intense that there is no way to express them. Of course, there arises a question - “why should we express them?”.

Well, sometimes we do feel to. And in such occasions, languages hinder and we fail. Perhaps the only way is to express them with facial expressions, gestures.

And sometimes we don’t need to express – as we say in Malayalam, “What you heard is sweet, what you haven’t is even sweeter”. So, sometimes not expressing is the better way.

Why would I discuss it here now? Earlier, I’d have said that it was the speaker’s inability than the underdevelopment of languages (it was not about feelings, but something else). And my eye was opened by my cousin sister– who led me to think that it need not be the case. We don’t have to take that blame on us. Indian_marriage

She’s getting married in a few days. It’s yet another marriage I am missing – the 3rd one. Three of my cousin sisters’ marriages – I couldn’t make it to any of them. Of course, I do have enough unmarried cousins whose marriages I can attend. But these were the ones of my age group, the close ones and with her, the group is over.

Usually when I and she talk, we just talk and the conversation flows. Today when I rang her up, there were many silent gaps in our conversation. She was slightly angry at me and that made me feel more guilty. And I felt that I couldn’t tell her how happy I am for her, over phone. Of course I spoke the words but I didn’t feel satisfied with that. (She said non-offensively that I have made it a practice to miss marriages. Of course it pricked a bit – very little bit ;) )

It is funny, you know? Showing less of tender emotions and showing less attachment to relatives (true that I don’t love/like someone just because they are related to me) and also being a bit stubborn with my decisions, I have earned a title of “less/non emotional” person. But it need not be the case, right? Not expressed doesn’t mean non-existent.

But do I care about that title? No, I actually don’t! :) The ones who should understand, would understand the way I am. {Is this what is called less emotional? :) }

So, all I wanted to say here is that, I feel slightly bad about missing this one, this marriage. And I wish her a wonderful married life. I wish her from the bottom of my heart ALL THE BEST in life’s store.

Signing off,

PS: This post took unusually long time to finish.

PPS: One of my loyal readers (from Dubai) has spotted the change in my writing style and has …. .. .. .. .. … . .. . . . ..!

PPPS: Life is totally interconnected and here it is MY failure if  I didn’t explain it well. I don’t blame the language.


Anonymous said...

You always use some adjectives when you say about your emotions, "feel SLIGHTLY bad" in this post for example, misleading(? :P) people to believe that you are a less emotional soul.


Sands | കരിങ്കല്ല് said...


First: Good observation

I thought about that adjective for a minute before putting it there. But I had to as I don't feel very bad. It's just a slight bad feeling.

And I find it very hard to have *really bad* feelings. Innalathethine athinte koottathil cherttal...athu pazhaya bad feeling-nu oru apamanam avum. Hence the slightly! ;)

(And there is another example - it pricked a bit - a little bit - how about that? ;) )

Bindhu Unny said...

Even I noticed 'slightly bad'. Assumed you were not feeling very bad.
I also don't care much about showing emotions. :-)

Anonymous said...

Hehe! Explanation in the third para is cool..


Vivek said...

Hehe! Explanation in the third para is cool..

(Did notice the other one too :) )


Arun said...

Well this is what i know about you - you're not as unemotional as you assume; I still remember all the discussion we've had about this, but I still stand to this opinion of mine.

Hailstone said...

I agree with Arun.
you're not as unemotional as you assume.. I feel so..

Sands | കരിങ്കല്ല് said...




:) (Another discussion? ) :)


I didn't say that I was/am. I just said I am taken as one.

Anonymous said...

Thanks a lot...i did understand and i wasnt really angry, just a little (a litle more than little) upset (i am sure you understand that). But its all gone now as i sit here in priya's chair and type this out to you. We are here and i certainly miss having you around... but thanks a ton Sandeep for wishing us all this happiness... and as you rightly said, sometimes the unexpresed is more eloquent than the expresed words.