Paper Anniversary of This

This blog has entered its second year. Yeah, today is the birthday. This is the 86th post. That means, on an average there was one post in every 4 days. I went back to some of my old posts, looked at them, read them and also considered the thoughts I had when I posted them. I even looked into the style of writing which existed during those days. When I compare that with my present thoughts and style, I can see lot of differences.

My language and way of expressing ideas have improved by leaps and bounds. Surprisingly, my thoughts are more mature than those times. Yes, I am growing old and I ought to get matured, but seeing the growth, in front of my eyes... just like in a movie... gives me a lot of pleasure.

I still want to grow a lot more - both in terms of my thoughts and in terms of writing. There are many other fellow bloggers whom I admire - for their ideas and style. Some day I will catch up with them.

Now, to the matter. The past few days.. or weeks were probably the most stressful time in my life. Other than the reduced frequency of blog entries, I had not shown any symptoms of stress. My friend with whom I regularly talk, expressed that I had been a little pessimistic - lately. Yes, then that was a symptom.

I was facing some major problem related to my PhD life. I do not claim that it is over now, but after talking with professor, I am relieved for the moment. The problem was something like, I was put in the middle of an ocean and asked to swim.

I didn't know where to swim and how long I'll have to swim. Every direction except to the bottom - looked equally easy or difficult to move to. I could not manage to have a meeting with professor for about 40 days. So, the confidence level was steeply falling. Now, things are better.

Not that I know where to go. But rather than being confused, I have finally decided to go. To start with a small pace, but to be consistent and steady. Then to accelerate slowly.

I draw all my energy from my past - the fall in 3rd semester of BTech. Now I am happy that I had screwed up my 3rd semester then. I had rescued myself while I was sinking. If I could do that, now I'd do even better. Of course the problems are much bigger now, but I have all the techniques learned in 6+ years.

I wanted to write something more, but it is already a long post. I care for my readers. Yes, I do care for you my dear reader. :)

I wish happy b'day for my blog and good luck for me.

I have lot of pending things to finish, many things to catch up - will be busy for many coming days. Still, posting will be regular.

Signing off, Sands.

PS: Paper anniversary means first anniversary. Normally you give paper gifts on this anniversary (correct me if I am wrong)

_