Poems, from my melancholy

A few words for you my dear
To tell thoughts from my heart
The future looks so very unclear
Thinking of it pierces me like a dart

Unclear it may be, but I fear it not
And what I fear, that matters not
And you who matter, I have not
Will we be together, I know it not

For a long time in my life, I never dared to let feelings flow as they wished. It scared me to let me be in bad mood.

But now, raw feelings of passion, love and pain do easily engulf me and leave me helpless. Have you ever held your love in your arms, so close, so near… but knowing that it is not as close as you wish for – words which could describe that feeling don’t exist and never will.

Yeah, the feelings, especially in some situations, leave me helpless, but never hopeless.

They say, most men don’t ever get in good-terms with their emotional side. Fortunately, it seems, I don’t belong to the ‘most men’ category (not an overnight development, of course).

I am glad – so very glad. I believe, these experiences (experiments?) with life and feelings and emotions, make me a new and better man.

Anyway, above was just a set of rhyming lines by me. But below is a real good poem to capture my feelings – by Emily Dickinson.

If you were coming in the fall,
I'd brush the summer by
With half a smile and half a spurn,
As housewives do a fly.

If I could see you in a year,
I'd wind the months in balls,
And put them each in separate drawers,
Until their time befalls.

If only centuries delayed,
I'd count them on my hand,
Subtracting till my fingers dropped
Into Van Diemen's land.

If certain, when this life was out,
That yours and mine should be,
I'd toss it yonder like a rind,
And taste eternity.

But now, all ignorant of the length
Of time's uncertain wing,
It goads me, like the goblin bee,
That will not state its sting.

Hmm.. I should get to my usual self. Not that I am not enjoying every moment now. But enjoying this melancholy won’t get my day’s work done.

Y’all have a great day!

Signing off, Sands.

PS: One never ceases to have great experiences in life. And, be wonderful or painful, they make the life worth living.

Home away from home; and pix

After being away from Munich for four days, I am back.

During the course of the past few years, I have become capable of being very comfortable - wherever I go. But, visiting and staying-with RG is more than just being comfortable – I do feel ‘home’ with RG – feeling myself.

I could even dump my clothes as it pleased me – without giving a second thought on should I behave like a ‘guest’. A home away from home. :)

The only sad thing is that I felt very much at home that I was taking salt/tea/etc. from Chris (room-mate) without asking. (of course, informing him afterwards)

I even managed to break two wine glasses within 2 days. :P

We had plans to go to a few cities in France. After going only to Strasburg, we decided to ditch France and to tour only Saarbrücken. Being lazy, and talking, talking and talking, we ditched Saarbrücken too.

Truth be said – I was very glad to be confined within those 4 walls and to have a part of the bed to sleep on. We had a lot to catch up since our last meeting. And we just had lovely time.

Know what? Many people add value to our lives. But a few of them.. – they altogether multiply the value of our lives.

This post is dedicated to RG. :)

And here are some pictures from Strasburg (France)

Cute little girl from the play-ground.

The city-centre.

The railway station

Another view of THE railway station

Five roads join here

Waiting for the spring

‘FRENCH WINDOWS’

The strange tree

The photographer in me was awakened :P

Inside the church

Coloured glass is wonderful, isn’t it?

Better to see this way than being burnt.

Grotesques @ the church

This creature’s scientific name is ‘adorable’.

Aren’t these shoes adorable? :)

Signing off, Sands.

Happy B’day… :-)

The champagne was hidden in my own fridge and I didn’t know. The gifts were kept in my room – I hadn’t seen them.

It was the best B’day celebration so far. (Hmm.. I don’t celebrate b’days generally).

Some pictures:

The candle and gifts – arranged in my room when Konstantine distracted me.

Book, some Indian photos, a lovely poem by Tagore, and Champagne! :)
Isn’t it good?

Hmm… Cake #1….

The cake for my colleagues. Yet again Yummy!

Now, this was lovely. Turn the handle to hear the music. I was so shocked and surprised and pained when I heard my favourite Elvis song flowing from it.

I was touched.. I still am. I was practically speechless.. words failed me.

I became “Gadgadakantan” as mallus would say.

This post is of course dedicated to GM.

Signing off, Sands.

Trivia: 1, 2, 4, 7 and 14 are the factors or 28. And these numbers add up to 28. Hence 28 is a PERFECT number. As D says, 28 could be the perfect age too. :)

First Sketches

I had been thinking about taking the brushes and colours for sometime now. I haven’t touched them since last July or so.

Have always wanted to do colour pencil sketching. I know, I am by no means good. Of course, I have my favourite red-rose and bamboos which are quite easy. Hopefully, in a few months I’ll learn some tricks of the trade.

In any case, I took the pencils, and sketched while watching some dokuz. Naturally, something HOT and SPICY.  ;)

 

The best part is, you need only a sketch book and 3-4 pencils and just 10-20 minutes for such a simple thing. Isn’t that cool? I have to move to more complicated stuff though.

Other than this, beautiful things are happening in life. To an extent, painful things – which are still lovely and great in themselves. At the moment a little too busy to express such things in words. Will try to do some day.

Signing off, Sands.

For a change…

This is not a place for spreading negative energy, which I never do. Instead I post and ‘broadcast’ news and details about my great mood, excellent spirits etc.

But… Today…

I am a bit confused. Or may be slightly excited in the negative side. Three very important things happened between 9:45 and 11:00.

Nothing bad at all. But each of them with such great gravity – life changeable events. Hmm… Shall let you know eventually.

The funny thing is, only good might happen and I am possibly getting anxious for nothing. But why not! I am at least enjoying a novel feeling.

Now to the good side. I was speaking with MusicGirl and the conversation turned to ‘hot guys’; and I asked her about how she finds me – HOT or NOT.

Guess what? A full 10 for personality. Good score for height; she praised my eyes. Sense of humour too is one of my strengths in her opinion. But I lost points for my ‘dressing sense’ (or lack of it) and my unruly hair; she doesn’t like my teeth either.

I am glad that the plus-es were character-related (except eyes) where as the minus points are ‘repairable’. (Not to mean that I intent to).. In any case, I am not HOT enough for her. ;)

This would be the time to read about Endowment Effect – for I am thinking positives are more important, and the negatives are insignificant. (would the knowledge of Endowment effect, make my feelings void of endowment-effect?)

Signing off, Sands.

Women’s Day and Snapshots from (my) life..

Just some time ago, a friend emailed me:

.... and by the way, today is world women day. My whole newspaper is talking about feminism and men's emancipation. I'll give it to you after having finished, ja?

I am curious about it. In any case, I’ll read it and report here.

Off topic: Have I mentioned that I like it when someone suggests/gives me something to read (which they liked, or think I’ll like?). It shows care and concern and of course is a proof that I was in their mind while reading it. Isn’t it a lovely thing to feel cared for?

As a person who has more female friends than most people, I have had many chances to talk about women’s problems and let me make it clear, I am on women’s side. I have mentioned it a few times and also have given some links. I don’t want to repeat them here.

In my personal experience, there were/are more male-idiots than female-idiots. And some of the male-idiots even excelled in being so. So… you know?

Note: I do hate those moments when feminism goes “MAD/WILD”. I and D sometimes have discussions about it.

Anyway, I make use of this occasion to ask all of you to work towards a world where everyone is free to do anything he/she wishes, without being judged or looked down at, where everyone has equal rights, equal protection etc. etc. (irrespective of gender/race/creed/anything)

And now, I bring your attention to some snap-shots from my life:

  This is how Ethiopian food looks like. (at least in Blue Nile, the Ethiopian restaurant in M)

Typical Kerala Food (called Puttu)… But nobody has ever made Puttu in McDonald’s cups. We didn’t have the right utensils.

  And yes, it did come out pretty well. (Was too dry to swallow though) :P

The newest member in my room. What would I call her? I might call her “Grübchen” (means dimple)

This is the entrance to my room. A flowery welcome.

The Red-Corridor from where I enter my room.

This is what I see from my window. Just a foot away from my feet, it is snow. And what you are seeing there is my Flower-Patch. (Should i have flowers in there? or vegetables?)

This is how he (Sun) goes down on her (Earth). Of course, Euphemism is deliberate.

And yes, the snow melts gradually.

This is what I see when I wake up in the morning. It is this light which wakes me up.

Mannequins, in the nearby shopping centre. This photo was taken when some group of idiots were making issues in India about the nude-mannequins.

During Xmas time, xmas trees were being sold like hotcakes.

   While I was in the hospital, this was the view from my window. Great and all, but it was very dull for me to look out.

Like I started, I end with the same friend who sent me the email. Here is her cat, lying on her legs. She (the cat, “L”) was very comfortable lying on back, on that soft quilt. (I apologise to L, for the unexpected camera-flash).

That was all my dear friends. My busy day/weak is ON and I am in a quite good mood. You all have a wonderful time too.

Signing off, Sands.

PS: My Malayalam blog readers would see the same photos there too. Perhaps with more details of the images.

Absent minded? Irresponsible? Bored Sky?

It has been happening a few times lately that when I come out of uni (office) in the evening, I have forgotten to wear my shoes. I walk into the cold and say .. “oops, now I’ll miss this train” and go wear my shoes.

Once I am in the institute, I remove my shoes and wear some sandals (a lot comfortable).

Too absent minded to remember it in the evening?

~~~

I wanted my Indian license converted to German one. Applied, did everything, passed the test. But then realised that I’d lost my Indian license. It was gone. When I went to India, I applied for a duplicate and did receive it.

As it was no matter of urgency, I didn’t go get the license until two days ago. Surprise surprise surprise: I has submitted my Indian one along with the application. What an idiot I am/was to forget it and go through all those hassles!

Or was it just being irresponsible?

Good thing is that I have the same photo in both my licences now.

~~~

In the 1986 film, the hero sings :

“Oh my dear moon, don’t go. I am your sky and will be there for you ever. Even if you leave me, I’ll keep you close to my heart/thoughts”. (Video below)

In the 2009 film it has become :

“The very same moon everyday, the sky would be bored. Be a wife or a knife, I want the best!”. The song is of course about partner.

That is how love or attitude or perspective has changed? Interesting! :)

One could and would listen to the old song a million times. The new one irritates you the third time you listen to it.

If you are a south Indian and don’t know this song, don’t ever come to my blog again. Well, last chance: listen to it and if you don’t like it, don’t come to my blog anymore.

Signing off, Sands.

Random randomness alias AVIYAL-ised mind.

~~~~

From the info-screen at the tube-station: The world is full of plastic. Every square km of the ocean has thousands of pieces of plastic. (very small ones that the creatures devour and die – so sad).

I am wondering why no one foresaw it. Was it that hard?

Perhaps is was not easy to foresee. So, are there similar things happening around us, which are going to threaten life on planet as plastic/glo-warming is doing now? Are we oblivious to it?

~~~~

Does any one of you (or do all of you) watch out or be vigilant when you are at the train/bus stop and a train/bus approaches? Just being careful that no one plays a prank at you by pushing you and the prank goes wrong? [there was once an incident in Munich]

Do you think about the chances of a truck reversing when you are behind it? …. and keep vigil?

When you bike/drive, do you look below the body of a truck for legs to see if someone is going to jump in front of you?

Am I just being very too cautious? or paranoid? I am not afraid or anything.. but you know? Invest one cent in being cautious and you’ll save in millions (peace of mind). [Or am I just too old wise? ;) ]

~~~~

Lately, I am quite busy. But I am trying to give time and care to dear ones. Just not wanting to compromise. I couldn’t help my mom a lot with something she needed. But I think I did help her (enough). :)

Perhaps I’ve a slight restriction on social commitments. But in general, I MAKE time for the ones I care – whether to send good morning mail/card or to pamper them when they are down.

Am I performing well? Is that how one grows into a better person? Being a good family man? Would I manage to perform well if I had children (who would be invaluable and to whom I’d give so much of time)?

Hmmm… I think, a long way (still) to go.

~~~~

Why would a break-up be the end of everything between two persons? You fell in love because you found each other GREAT. Wasn’t it so? A break-up is merely a decision – to not share lives. But the niceness, greatness, friendship, etc. all should be the same. Right? One may take a while to get over the pain.

But afterwards? How could you act as if the other person never existed?

Break-ups are hard. I might have faltered when I went through it/them. But in general, I’ve tried to be good. But some people surprise me (by stupidity?) or (can they just not get a grip?)

~~~~

I think the charm of winter is gone along with the melted snow. It is just grey, cold and wet – not that it bothers me a lot. But I am sure, I am ready for the spring. Looking forward to it.

~~~~

As I said, quite busy my friends. I thought it better to write a few random things (in brief) than a single topic expanded (lazy, less effort).

Have a good day, week, month, time-in-general.

Signing off, Sands.

PS: The plastic story reminded me of Underground Fluffers (from Wiki) : Fluffers or Fluffies has been used as a name for workers on the London Underground who would clean hair, dirt and dust from the tunnels at night when no tube trains run.^[1] The work was often done by hand by female workers.^[2]