Getting more than I deserve

Yes, I do feel that I am getting more than what I deserve. I am noticing this for quite some time. My friends who read this are supposed to act as if they haven't read this at all.

First case : Personal Relations
I am always good to my friends, for that matter, to anyone I meet. But sometimes I feel that the warmth they give me is much more than what I give them. Let me consider the people at my village. I know, not all of them love me. But the consideration they give is much more than I give them.

I care about almost nobody. I don't bother about any one's feelings. I don't try to make anyone happy. (A few exceptions are there) Still I see people are very good to me.

I don't call up my friends very frequently. It's once in a blue moon, I take actions for contacting them. Or it would be them who contact me regularly. Still I think I am considered to be a better friend than many others. Why Why Why?

There is only reason I can think of. The things I do, the way I behave, the way I treat them - all these seem to be normal to me. But they must be finding it nice and good. How else my judgment be wrong? The thing I think normal is too good for them. Or the other way around - That they are being normal and I find it too good. But the second case below makes me think the first way. (too complicated sentence?)

Second Case: Professional
I had a meeting with professor in the morning. I went to him with the guilty feeling that I did some under-performance during the last few months. I asked him for the feedback of my work during the past few months. To my surprise, he seems to be happy with me. What the heck, I only know how much I screwed up. Still he is happy with what I did. (Don't think the professor got fooled by me. He was a prof in Stanford for 8 years and in TUM for 16 years with a good number of ground breaking results and a guide of so many students)

The same happened earlier too. The work I do/did seems to make everyone happy - even when I am not satisfied with it! This is a very bad situation. The problem must be that I am too much of a perfectionist. Or my level of expectation from me is much more than others' expectation. What I think OK is good for some others.

Third Case: Teaching
This teaching is something which I put quite a lot of effort and not satisfied enough. After every class, the students give a small applause - that formal applause embarrasses me every time. I might have slipped a couple of things and would be feeling so bad that I messed up the whole thing.

So, yesterday I asked the students for feedback - even about the silly mistakes of repeating the same word 100 times in a class. But they seem to be happy (except that I should use much bolder pens to write and should write more structured in the board so that they can note it down easier)

So, finally the post boils down to a "BRAGGING POST". Trust me, I didn't mean anything that way. And what the heck, I don't care whether you think that I am bragging. It's my blog.

Signing off, Sands.

PS1: To my beloved friends. I do love/like you all. It's just that you are so nice to me and you give me more than I give you. I got used to it, so continue to be nice to me :)

PS2: Want to shed the skin of a perfectionist. But I want to be a perfect non-perfectionist. What to do!